INSIGHTS
FINDING ANSWERS IN FURRY PLACES
Most days, I feel like I’ve seen and heard all there is to know when it comes to relationships. I have been a therapist for decades, after all. Then there are days that completely turn me around and remind me there’s still room for awe and surprise. One of my female...
What Goes Around Comes Around: The Ripple Effect of Generosity
The critical role of generosity in personal and professional success It turns out humans are wired to be kind and giving to each other. Generosity as a practice may be cultivated everyday. The word generous isn’t the first word that comes to mind when someone talks...
RECOGNIZING DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Today’s Advice Highlights How does a relationship become dysfunctional? What are the common red flags to watch out for? Is calling it quits the best course of action to recover from a toxic relationship? When we start a new relationship, we put most of our attention...
HOLDING SPACE FOR EACH OTHER WHEN YOU’RE BOTH HURTING
In a recent session, one of my patients said something that many of us, not just therapists, have heard many times: “We love each other, but…” It’s not hard to imagine the statements that follow the “but.” In my patient’s case they were: We can’t help poking each...
Dr. Deb’s 5 Recommendations For How to Best Deal With Separation and Divorce
Many of you have asked me how to cope with the pain of marital separation and the impending possibility of divorce. Without question, marital separation and divorce are among the toughest life experiences. The good news is that there are ways to manage the loss and...
ROLLING OUT THE DEAR DR. DEB ADVICE COLUMN
Dear Dr. Deb. As a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist specializing in interpersonal relationships, it makes sense that people who are struggling would seek out my professional services – especially when they are hurting. Through my decades of experience, I’ve...
MOTHER’S DAY – IS EVERY DAY
If you ask people what their favorite holiday is, the answers range from Thanksgiving, to Christmas, to their birthdays. I have never heard anyone respond with “My favorite holiday is Mother’s Day.” Honestly, Everyday should be Mother’s Day. I cannot think of a more...
CAN WE AGREE TO DISAGREE ON THE SLAP HEARD AROUND THE WORLD?
First, let me begin with what I believe we can agree on – that everyone was shocked at this year’s Oscars when actor, Will Smith, slapped comedian, Chris Rock, one of the show’s award presenters, in response to a “joke” Rock made about Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett...
Self Reflection in Relationships
Introduction Most people are inclined to believe that their relationships fail or have problems because they didn’t choose the right partner or because their partner is the source of the stress. It can feel so much better to look for accountability outside of yourself...
TRIBUTE TO MY GIRL, SAVY
Savy and I were finishing up our last walk of the day one evening last week when I tripped and fell. I dropped her leash, which scared her, and she ran off. Typically, she would come when I called her name, but not this time. She was frightened. Savy was hit in...
Self-Talk and Why It Matters
If you’re worried this habit is a little strange, you can rest easy because talking to yourself is perfectly normal. During a recent consultation, I asked a patient her opinion of a work situation that she was trying to solve, and her response was the following: How...
Depression during the holiday season
Though the holidays are thought of as a time of sharing, family, and celebration, for many they are emotionally exhausting. If you feel knocked down by sadness during this holiday season, you’re not alone. Between polarized politics and the continuing global...