What Have You Done For Your Partner Lately?

As part of my professional training, I spent many years studying psychoanalytic theory and technique. In short, my job was to help my clients examine past relationships for the purpose of understanding their present ones. The goal of the therapy was to develop Self-awareness. After years of clinical work helping people to develop insight into...
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What are Clients Really Looking for in a Divorce Attorney?

When it comes to choosing a divorce attorney, I have heard people say, “I want the meanest, toughest attorney I can find. I need a fighter, someone who’ll take out that shark my spouse hired.” That attitude always makes me shudder. A talented attorney doesn’t have to fight and sling mud to engineer a successful...
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The Roles of Mental Health Professionals in Divorce

Lets Consider The “Emotional” Divorce. Many, if not most, of the clients seen by a family law attorney manifest a high degree of anxiety. This anxiety (which can present in a variety of ways) can interfere with the attorney’s ability to concentrate on the legal aspects of the case. When the mental health aspects are...
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Should You Divorce or Save Your Marriage?

The following shocking divorce statistics are from theU.S. Census Bureau: -Around 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. -48% of first marriages end in divorce. -60% of second marriages end in divorce. -73% of third marriages end in divorce. -In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That is 6,636 divorces...
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Panic of the “I”

Your divorce has thrown you into a very lonely place full of conflicted feelings of rejection and longing, love and hate, remorse and rage, not to mention sadness and relief. While you used to have a counterpart to help you through hard times, now you are on your own without a solid grasp on who...
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More on the “Panic of the I”

In my clinical practice, a very common reaction to the loss of a partner is “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Sound familiar? One of my clients aptly referred to his post-divorce aloneness as the “panic of the I.” He compared his feelings to those of a toddler who feels the world is safe...
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Keeping Collaboration a Part of the Post Divorce Relationship

Divorce doesn’t end when the papers are signed, so why does the job of the Collaborative divorce professional? While we provide an invaluable service to our clients, some of the most challenging aspects of divorce appear after the process is completed. Anyone going through a divorce will almost certainly need some help getting back on...
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How Client’s Emotions can Interfere with Sound Legal Resolution

The Unique Complexity Of Working With Divorcing Clients:Emotions On The Edge. When clients seek out the help of the Collaborative team, it is at a time of deep emotional trouble, a time when most feel they have lost their center of gravity. As such, working with divorcing people presents numerous challenges to the team. In...
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Helping Children Cope With Heartbreak

The Need to Advocate For Children of Divorce. Introduction With the recent publication of Mike Mastracci’s excellent book Stop Fighting Over the Kids; Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, I found myself focused on the overwhelming struggles that divorcing children must face. Children do not understand the changes that are occurring around them. They...
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